## Halo 5
### Story
Remember how I said "I am confused, I barely know what is going on"?
Yeah, now I'm completely fucking lost.
We are fighting more Forerunners,
there is squad *diversity*
and Cortana is evil now?
I give up.
The only interesting thing here for me
is the Elite civil-war lead by the Arbiter.
Frankly, I would have rather played an entire game of just that.
Cortana -besides being AI-space-Hitler or some shit-
is dressed now.
I am pissed.
It went from naked, to naked and sexualized, to clothed.
Microsoft did the retard-dance both ways,
where they had Clarissa McFucktoy the Z-cupped mud-wrestler,
then they turned her into Johna Sterile the Girlboss.
Just fuckin' amazin'.
### Enemies
I apparently have Wished Upon a Blackstar,
because there is a new type of Forerunner.
Insanely creatively named Soldier,
it is a bullet sponge that teleports behind you.
It has no interesting qualities or behaviours,
except for the afore mentioned teleportation,
which is just plain fucking annoying.
They are -of course- spammed without discrimination.
Generally speaking tho,
every enemy has a larger health pool,
while the damage deviation of guns have been normalized.
As a result, I no longer care what is in my hand
and my trigger finger is developing (an early stage of) Emacs-Pinky syndrome.
The Warden is also introduced,
which is a mini boss.
It has the signature attacks of yellow death ray and homing death black hole,
both of which instantly *down* you.
The battle field is bleak as ever.
If Halo 3 was a military shooter with a Halo skin,
Halo 5 is puppeteering with the corpse of the franchise over webcam
in an attempt to defraud his bank.
### Gameplay
Previously,
you would either have to carefully monitor your health,
or give little of a fuck because it tended to be enough more often than not.
Here, it does not feel like I have a health.
Everything is extremely deadly at close-quarters -except you-
therefor you will be keeping your distance.
You know the trend I've been bringing up?
Its **just** that now,
and it takes twice as long to kill any enemy
and there are twice as many of them.
As a result tho,
you are not taking noticeable damage most of the time.
And then you are dead.
From Halo 2 onwards, there were single kill snipers.
Halo 5 says, "what if we hid them and made their AI infuriating?".
Mind you, all AI is shitty in this game,
but its especially bad when one of these niggers can jump out of cover
and instantly vaporize you.
As I understand it, for a sniper to take a shot,
it is required to target you idly for some amount of time,
which is supposed to be your time buffer to react.
However the shitty code makes it so that they can *sometimes*
do that without a direct line of sight.
And there are the explosives.
The plasma-grenade attacks that were well telegraphed to begin
are less accurate than ever.
However, you will be under constant mortal fire from the other side of the map
by multiple fiends.
How *fun*!
The Warden I mentioned,
he will constantly one shot you from a distance.
### Teammates
You are always playing with Spartan companions.
They will barely fucking hit anything unless you are spamming `designated target`.
There is a downed mechanic.
This means that if I die in my single-player game,
I have to wait for the AI to maybe revive me,
maybe not.
Surprisingly, their path finding is fine:
not once were they unable to find their way to me.
The problem is, that they have no survival instincts
and if they happen to approach you from an angle that is out of cover,
though luck.
You can generally tell when and where they will be able to pick you up,
yet you can not consider this as part of your strategy.
Many of the one-shot attacks will just straight up kill you.
So, you cannot turn off this annoying "feature" and you cannot depend on it.
Amazin'.
If `Load last checkpoint` had been removed,
I would have not finished Halo 5.
The way they move looks like something out of a parody of a video game.
Their decision making is sluggish, they will stand still as they preprocess tasks,
only to start running in a perfectly straight, robotic line.