Anyways,
the story starts with the sister of The Dragon being kidnapped
by Ze Dominatrix and her husband, Fat Hunter Guy.
This scene gives us the single best clip of the movie,
one that I'm unsure of how to link here. (Emil?)

This is followed by The Mad dog shown in law-enforcement service.
He then proceeds to beat up his völkmates,
in the most terrifying creepy-crawly-horror scene:
being rushed by hordes of indianmen.

10 minutes in, we have already seen the head of a young mother being bashed in
and people rolling down a hill in slow-mo with stunningly
detailed cracking and snapping sound-effects.
I will refrain from detailing everything like that,
but trust me, its constant.

Much of the following scenes can be summed up with single sentences:
> The Dragon is introduced as a bit of a nature's man
> he wants his sister back
> The Mad Dog must apprehend a rumored threat to authority to gain his dream promotion (you have to guesses to figure out who that would be)
> the two meet by accident and their friendship is established (using a montage)
> The Dragon lusts after a whitewoman
> she, as it is clearly true for all whitewomen, is unable to resist the call of the 5 inch shit colored (and soaked) D
> ugh, dance?

This is apparently a musical. Sort of?
There is music involved, specifically written for this piece.
People do sing. People do dance.
Yet, its sparsely spread out and neither all in-universe or all dramatic.
Clearly, this is a bit of culture shock, however there is a parallel that explains it all for me.
Consider this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lFx_eAoOGU&list=PLxS5KZTYL0NpjPEkYp42hNyxZpXSHisA2
And this: "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit."

At this point the viewer is also made familiar with their use of CGI,
To be fair, it looks decent, for 2007 that is.
Which, I would honestly not mind, if it wasn't overused in scenes running for way too long.
Oh, wait, I have a right arrow key, I sincerely don't mind then.
But, the reason I need to skip ahead is because the misapply the rule of cool.
Capturing a computer tiger for 5 minutes is not cool.
Random train crashes being solved with random rope tricks is not cool.

I assume, the way it was written is constructing the general story arch and the action,
then filling it in with dialog under 15 mins before shooting.
It does feel like that atleast.
No one ever says anything actually interesting.
At best, you get a short explanation of what the next action scene will be.

Then, The Mad Dog is paralyzed by venom while The Dragon reveals his identity
and hurries away to an attempt to free her sister.
His plan involves freeing numerous wild and dangerous beasts
within the confines of the br*tish headquarters during a night party.
The same headquarters which was just established to be the home of musicians,
good hearted servants and many generic civilians, including the crush of Mr. Dragon.
Many die in the chaos.
The morality of his actions is never brought up.
Anyways, The Mad Dog catches up and reveals his real identity as a police officer
as he attempts to arrest Mr. Dragon.

I have heard this advice from Crimson Rogue,
where if you want a character to be badass, make him get beaten up so he can stand up.
This is good advice; to a degree that is.
Then again, we know why they are doing it.

The Dragon protests by stabbing The Mad Dog clean through the heart,
from which he promptly stands up and accomplishes his mission.

He finally gets his dream position, but its not what it appears.
You see, he wasn't actually a race-traitor of the poo-nation,
no stalker child, he is actually plotting a revolution by leaking guns to the public.
His plan was all along to scam his way into the ranks of the white people,
only to redistribute their wealth among his own!
Wait. Wow, wait...